The Bedside Chronicles: From Lamp to Life Crisis
The Bedside Chronicles: From Lamp to Life Crisis
Remember when your bedside table housed nothing but a lonely lamp? Oh, how times have changed! Today, I embarked on an archaeological dig of my nightstand, unearthing artefacts that would make Indiana Jones weep (or at least reach for some anti-ageing cream).
The Sleep Seeker's Arsenal
Behold my collection of slumber-inducing potions:
- 9 different sleep aids (Why settle for one when you can have a buffet?)
- Varieties include Rescue Remedy, Rhodiola with Saffron, and the enigmatically named "Sage Complex" (Is it for sleep or stuffing? The jury's out.)
- Pills, tinctures, and gels, oh my! (Dorothy had it easy with just lions, tigers, and bears.)
The Fountain of Youth (in Cream Form)
- 6 face creams (Because one for each decade just wasn't enough)
- CBD oil (For when you want to feel relaxed AND hip)
- Vitamin C (To fight off scurvy, obviously)
- Night oil (For those times when you want to wake up looking like an oil slick)
The Supporting Cast
- Zillion Q-tips (For when one ear just isn't enough)
- Hair clips and ties (In case I decide to open a salon at 3 AM)
- Odd makeup brush (It's not lost, it's just... meditating)
And there, atop this mountain of midlife madness, sat my self-designed journal. Oh, the irony! I created a book to track my life, and it's been monitoring dust instead. But today, I cracked it open and drew a woman with enormous eyes praying for sleep. It was less "artist's rendition" and more "cry for help," but it made me chuckle.
The Nightly Ritual
Now, I spend my days meticulously planning for a good night's sleep, only to be rewarded with rest 1 day out of 14. It's like training for an Olympic event where the gold medal is a solid 6 hours of snoozing.
To think, in my twenties, all I needed was a lamp. One. Simple. Lamp. Now, my bedside table looks like a cross between a pharmacy, a beauty counter, and a lost and found bin.
But fear not, fellow midlife warriors! If you, too, want to document your descent into bedside table madness, my journal is available on Amazon. Just private message me for the link, and you, too, can draw your own wide-eyed, sleep-deprived self-portraits.
Remember, growing older is mandatory, but laughing about it is essential. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a face cream, three sleep tinctures, and a prayer to the slumber gods. #SleepDeprivation #sleep #SleepWell #midlife #menopause